So there are 30 days until I turn 30 on May 30th, crazy I know. So I thought, what a better thing to do then document the countdown to my golden birthday right here on the blog and make note of just how mental or not mental I go. I really want to see if this whole no longer being in your 20s thing is that big of a deal. What do you think?
I always said the same thing when I witnessed other people bid farewell to their 20s, some with pure grace and others in an anxiety-fueled panic. I thought, you know, I'll be fine if I turn 30, no big deal just as long as I am doing well, am in good shape, have a stable job, a nice place, a healthy relationship with someone I love might be nice. With all those things, turning 30 will be a breeze.
But the funny thing is, I had all those things, up until just about a few months ago. So now I am heading to the big 3-0, single in New York City, after spending two weeks on a mat in my friends' living room, with some freelance gigs here and there, but pretty much with none of the things that I thought I needed to glide through this rite of passage with ease and confidence.
I mean, I am actually better off than I anticipated I would be when I decided to uproot my life in Berlin and leave all that behind: as I write this I am looking at all the boxes in my new apartment and tomorrow is my second day at a job I scored for the next few weeks and I feel happy. But still, this is not how I ever thought I would be when I turned 30.
So I am giving myself a challenge or conducting an experiment if you will, to see how I feel and how much I can change in the next 30 days before my birthday celebration. I am going to analyze my moods, measure how much I actually think about turning 30, and take a look at my life on a mental, physical and emotional level. I have cut out sugar from my diet and am hoping to get some more work, maybe even a date? But most importantly I want to feel good about my life on the big day.
So that is that: here I am, 29 for 30 more days. Hope you will stick around to see how I handle it.
Photo from here.
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