30 Days to 30: Day 8

It was such a nice day out but I spent most of it working in a coffee shop and on the phone. I did have a nice dinner at my new favorite neighborhood Mexican spot, Chavella's (highly recommended!) and a lot of laughs with Julia, but mostly the day was kind of stressful.

Mood: insecure, worried, stressed, but all on a small scale.

Progress: Tried to pick up in the room I just moved into that is still in boxes, with clothes and shoes all over the floor. Made a bit of a dent in it, but still feel like I have so much to do and no time to do it in. Really want to feel settled soon!

Mentally: Started to worry about getting a real full-time job as I still have not heard back from any of the places I have submitted my resume to. I am starting to think that my experience is not up to New York standards anymore, when just a few months ago I was feeling completely confident. Had a bit of trouble falling asleep because I had too much on my mind.

Physically: Sore from Saturday's run and all I wanted to do was eat ice cream when it came to around 8 at night. Sunday nights just seem to make sense for vegging out with junk food, or at least they used to. Instead I satisfied my craving with a glass of no sugar-added orange juice and vowed to myself that I would do pilates at least three times this week.

Emotionally: Yesterday's confidence did not seep over into today. I saw some photos of myself and for some reason I got insecure about how I looked in them and it made me worry that the same thing will happen on the day of my big 3-0. Is it silly to be almost 30 and have these kinds of moments of insecurity purely based on the physical?

Thoughts About Turning 30: They coincided with the emotional situation above with thoughts of not feeling confident about how I look and the shape I am in for the big day. I know it is ridiculous, but sometimes you just can't help it.

Photo from here. 

Not So Random Sunday: Happy Mother's Day

Thinking of my beautiful mom on this special day and how much I cherish our relationship and how it continues to grow and get stronger as each of us does the same. No matter how many thousands of miles I am away from home, I always feel close to her. Love you Mom!

30 Days to 30: Day 7

Dress (vintage from a street vendor in London), belt (thrifted, Berlin), strappy sandals (Mango)

Pictures from an evening at the Brooklyn museum with the girls and Mitchell followed by a stop at our local watering hole, Washington Commons. Yes we were there the night before too. 

Mood: Confident but a bit bored. 

Progress: Woke up early and went on a 3 mile run around Prospect Park with Rachael — even with a hangover from last night's debauchery. 

Mentally: Feeling good after the run and excited about wearing this dress out for the first time, but still feeling a bit like something is missing. 

Physically: There were a few points in the run when I felt like I wanted to die (especially when Rachael made me do the stairs) but after I felt healthy, and incredibly hungry. Still no sugar!

Emotionally: Felt energized and happy, but the neediness from last night spilled over. I have been out so much with the girls since I got back and it has been great, but I think we are all starting to be in need of some male attention. 

Thoughts About Turning 30: A friend who I haven't seen since I got back from Berlin, who also happens to be a lot younger than me, met up with us last night. I invited him to my birthday dinner and of course he asked how old I was turning and when that 30 came out of my mouth, I all of a sudden felt old. His reaction was to say that I don't look it, which made me feel even older. What does 30 look like anyway?

30 Days to 30: Day 6

Mood: Stressed with work, happy it's Friday

Progress: Completed my first week of work and a week of no drinking. Celebrated with a drink!

Mentally: Absent, I felt pretty out of it after having so much stuff to do at work that I had to stay alone in the office until 8. How did I go from my life of leisure to overtime on a Friday night?

Physically: Ate a macrobiotic salad for lunch, really wished it was a chocolate brownie. How am I going to deal with a certain monthly thing that is coming up without chocolate!?! I was supposed to go to a class and break in my new gym shoes, but had to work late. Managed to stick with my diet even when we ate dinner after having a couple drinks — nothing like ordering your second salad of the day when everyone else around you is eating proper bar food. 

Emotionally: Not much on an emotional level, too busy being busy and drunk. Did get a little lonely and in need of attention at the end of the night though. Oh the single life, thank god I have my girls.  

Thoughts About Turning 30: The party planning has begun and the guest list has been agreed upon, I am actually getting excited. 

30 Days to 30: Day 5

Mood: content, mellow, happy, still tired but excited to sleep in my newly improved bed.

Progress: Went to Target after my jobby job (so domestic) and bought white sheets, pillows, towels and all those necessaries for my new room, which is so so so slowly coming together.  

Mentally: Feeling fine, feeling good, feeling happy for it to be Friday tomorrow. 

Physically: Walking past TCBY and Mrs. Fields Cookies in the Atlantic Mall was kind of painful, but still going strong on day 5 of no sugar. Oh and I bought some running shoes in regards to the getting in shape plan. 

Emotionally: Chatting with my friend online today, talking about way too serious topics for work hours, I came to a nice little realization of just how happy I feel. Despite all this moving and working stress, it does really feel good to be back in NYC. 

Thoughts About Turning 30: Thought about what I was going to wear to my party a few times. 

Photo from Flickr. 

30 Days to 30: Day 3 and 4

Back to the NYC grind, the days all blend into one, or at least the last two did. This happened a little earlier than I anticipated and may change the way these 30 days end up. Only time will tell..

Mood: mildly grumpy, slightly frustrated, very sleepy 

Progress: Made it to mid-week of first full-time office job in almost two years. Applied for another job. 

Mentally: Exhausted. My brain hurts.

Physically: Exhausted. I know I did this whole 8, 9, 10 hour work day for a long time, but I am having a hard time re-adjusting. I will probably get into the groove right as this gig and my 20s are ending in a month from now.

Emotionally: Exhausted. Feeling proud that I exceeded my goal of getting said job before the big 3-0, way before in fact, but now feeling a little dazed. Makes me wonder what I really want to do? Also feeling the stress of moving into a new place. There are still boxes everywhere, but I am too tired to deal with them. I want to feel settled soon. 

Thoughts About Turning 30: Hasn't crossed my mind.


Photo from Flickr. 

30 Days to 30: Day 2

Mood: stable, tired, mellow, content, sober. 
Progress: First real day at job goes well. 

Mentally: Feeling good about succeeding on my first day alone after one day of training at my new freelance gig and still on a high from an amazingly fun weekend that consisted of house parties, gay bars, Coney Island (pics above), roller coasters, backyard bbqs, dance parties, karaoke, brunch, oh and moving too.  

Physically: Feeling exhausted from all of the above and an actual 9 to 5ish day. But doing okay on the first days with no sugar and no booze, even at a friend's dinner party with it all around me.  

Emotionally: It was my first night alone in my new apartment and one of the only nights I have spent alone since I left Berlin and I felt good, just wish all my stuff was hung up on the walls and put away in my new closet, so I can actually feel settled, and good. 

Thoughts About Turning 30: slim to medium. 

30 Days to 30: Day 1

So there are 30 days until I turn 30 on May 30th, crazy I know. So I thought, what a better thing to do then document the countdown to my golden birthday right here on the blog and make note of just how mental or not mental I go. I really want to see if this whole no longer being in your 20s thing is that big of a deal. What do you think?

I always said the same thing when I witnessed other people bid farewell to their 20s, some with pure grace and others in an anxiety-fueled panic. I thought, you know, I'll be fine if I turn 30, no big deal just as long as I am doing well, am in good shape, have a stable job, a nice place, a healthy relationship with someone I love might be nice. With all those things, turning 30 will be a breeze. 

But the funny thing is, I had all those things, up until just about a few months ago. So now I am heading to the big 3-0, single in New York City, after spending two weeks on a mat in my friends' living room, with some freelance gigs here and there, but pretty much with none of the things that I thought I needed to glide through this rite of passage with ease and confidence.

I mean, I am actually better off than I anticipated I would be when I decided to uproot my life in Berlin and leave all that behind: as I write this I am looking at all the boxes in my new apartment and tomorrow is my second day at a job I scored for the next few weeks and I feel happy. But still, this is not how I ever thought I would be when I turned 30.

So I am giving myself a challenge or conducting an experiment if you will, to see how I feel and how much I can change in the next 30 days before my birthday celebration. I am going to analyze my moods, measure how much I actually think about turning 30, and take a look at my life on a mental, physical and emotional level. I have cut out sugar from my diet and am hoping to get some more work, maybe even a date? But most importantly I want to feel good about my life on the big day. 

So that is that: here I am, 29 for 30 more days. Hope you will stick around to see how I handle it.


Photo from here. 

Random Sunday

CHANTILLY, France—French nobles and modern-day "dandies" gather for the annual horse race competition for the Prix de Diane Hermès, 2000.

The Dress

Designed by Sarah Burton of Alexander McQueen. I'm into it, what do you think?

Photo via Huff Post. 

Farewell to a Puzzler...

Two things I love: little old ladies and the New York Magazine crossword puzzle. So when I read this article in appreciation of the adorable Maura Jacobson, who is retiring after 31 years as the NY mag puzzle writer, it melted my heart a little. She has been creating these amazing crosswords (which are the perfect level of challenging and fun) since before I was born. And in the past three-decades, until last year when she went down to every other week, she never missed a single issue. I am glad to be back on track myself of not missing a week of doing the crossword and hope Miss Jacobson's predecessor realizes the incredibly tough act she has to follow. I mean, look at that photo!

Bright Flowers, Bold Colors and Bohemian Prints

I can't get them out of my mind — I want them on my body and in my home.

The Pointer Sisters via Cat Party

via You Are My Fave

Light Locations via SFGirlBytheBay

Random Sunday

NEW YORK CITY—Brooklyn Gang, 1959.

A Not So Nice, But Funny Thought on a Rainy Day...

via Facebook. 

A Nice Thought on a Rainy Day...

20x200 print via A Cup of Jo. 

Pssst....

...I own these now. Took a trip uptown earlier this week and scored myself these Swedish Hasbeens for H&M bad boys. I know, I know, I should not be buying shoes right now. But I have a rule that if I write about something on my blog and then I actually have the chance to get it, that fact alone trumps any "I should be looking for a job and not shopping" nonsense. Good rule right? I just came up with that. 

And do you know what is really bad? I actually came home with two pairs of shoes from H&M that day. Before I even found the Hasbeens, I spotted and instantly fell in love with the cutest coral-colored chunky heels (also written about on the blog) that I could not live without. You know when you see something and you instantly know there is just no way it is not coming home with you, despite how trying to not spend money you may be? That is how I felt when I saw these shoes. Maybe my new rule to avoid such reactions should be to not enter any stores in the first place. Hmmm.

Anyway, I tried to track down an image of them, but weirdly, they are nowhere to be found on the Internet. You will just have to wait for a pic of them on my feet, and I will just have to wait for the appropriate time to wear my oh so practical bright orange-y pink chunky sky-high heel purchase. 

Holy Passover!

Dress (thrifted Humana, Berlin), maroon flats (vintage Clothes Contact, San Francisco) belt (thrifted, Berlin), necklace (borrowed from Rachael) 

It is nights like the one this past Monday that make me so happy to be back in New York, even if I had never had a night quite like it when I was in the city before. I mean, I had Passover seders when my dad was in town, but it was nothing like 24 friends (many of whom had never celebrated a Jewish holiday before and one adorable little baby [in black] who had never celebrated a holiday before) getting together at one huge table for a traditional (semi) service and meal. 

My dear friend Rachael (who's living room I am sleeping in) decided to throw her first seder, and with a little help from the other roommates, she somehow pulled it off. There was delicious food to be eaten, wine (four cups, right?) to be enjoyed, some prayers, some reading and all around good fun, tons of laughs and the requisite late night dance party. I wore a dress that was one of my last purchases at Humana in Berlin (I think I might actually miss those thrift stores) with Rach's African necklace. At first it seemed like an unlikely pairing, but I am really into the bold pattern on pattern look, and apparently it works with jewelry as well. Might just have to steal it from her for the next holiday.

While I Was Away...

Hey, I'm back. And while I was away getting situated in my friends' NYC apartment, working from their home, finding my own NYC home, spilling water on my computer, killing my hard drive, redoing all my work from home, buying a new computer and spending time with all my friends in between, some pretty people went to the desert in Southern California for a gathering of the trendy, good-looking and musically inclined. Oh Coachella. 

Would have loved to have gone this year, for the music yes, but also for the fashion. I love festival garb — long-flowing skirts, white vintage dresses, cut-off jean shorts and rompers. Kinda how I would dress everyday if I could, and will as soon as it warms up in New York. Seriously, did I bring the Berlin grayness to this city? And seriously, why did I look at the Berlin weather report (ironically perfect and sunny) this morning? Anyway, here are some of the festi looks I was into:

Photos from Vogue, Refinery29 and Harper's Bazaar.

Random Sunday

GOLFE-JUAN, France—Pablo Picasso with his partner, Françoise Gilot, and nephew, Javier Vilato, August 1948.

Hello New York

It's good to be home. More on that when I get settled.

Goodbye Berlin

Ich liebe diche.

Random Sunday

ISLE OF WIGHT, England—Joni Mitchell at the Isle of Wight Festival, 1969.

Girls' Night

I have moved a lot and one thing is always certain to happen: when you are on the way out you discover things that would have made the time in even better. I loved it here in Berlin (mostly), but something that was certainly lacking, was Girls' Nights. I didn't even realize how much I missed them until last night with Anne, Franziska and Erin.

So how did it finally happen? If you know anything about me, you know I have a serious thrift shopping addiction. So naturally I have tons of clothes, too many once again, to bring with me on the move. Since selling stuff isn't as easy as it is in the States, I decided to just have a little free for all boutique in my living room with cookies and wine. I have always wanted to have a little store, and last night was the closest I have gotten, and it was a blast.

The girls got to liven up their spring wardrobes, I got to play stylist and we all got to dress up. So much fun — Erin even let me take photos of her, no smiling of course, but photos they were. Why didn't we do nights like these all along? I mean I couldn't have always given my clothes away, but we certainly could have gotten drunk and played dress up on the regular. If you haven't had a Girls' Night in awhile, I highly recommend it, they are good for the soul.

Happy 1000th Blog Entry

Three and a half years ago there was a big change going on in my life and in everyone's around me, Obama was on his way to getting elected and I decided to start a blog. Now 1,000 entries later (holy hell!), I am in the midst of another big change — just four days shy of a move back to the land where it all started. 

So much has happened to me and my peeps since the beginning of Another Zoe Day: travel, births, breakups, sickness, engagements, layoffs, moves, new jobs and so many shoe purchases. I feel lucky and proud of myself for documenting it all (well most of it) right here. And as I turn yet another corner, so will this blog. Things are certainly going to change when I am back in the States — I have a few ideas up my sleeve, just wait. So excited!

But as for now, it is fun to look back at everything I did in the last few years, posted here. Sometimes I get scared that the Internet will crash and my little personal (but not personal at all) diary will disappear. Here's hoping that will never happen and to another 1,000 entries... 

Image from Flickr.

Trench Coat Weather

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a weather fanatic who hates the cold. People, including myself, often wonder why I have chosen to live in New York City and Berlin, with their insanely long, cold winters. I mean I should probably just move to Los Angeles already. But the thing about LA is that you don't get that amazing feeling when the air starts to warm up and it resonates in every sense of your body. The all-encompassing-ness of coldness melting away and the sheer pleasure that comes with wearing a trench coat for the first time — just a thin layer protecting you from the elements since months and months — is like nothing else. 

Last weekend I broke out the trench and oh how good did it feel. I also wore a dress without tights, which I admit, may have been a little premature. But the trench coat, man, the trench coat felt good. Have you got to break out your spring gear yet?


Photo from Refinery29.

Miu Miu Inspiration

When I saw this Miu Miu leather jacket on the runway, I was drawn to it, but I wondered who could pull off something so dramatic, so rock n' roll. Certainly not I. So when I came across this photo over on Garance Dore (the first time I spotted the jacket out in the wild) I was pleasantly surprised by its owner. I am a strong believer in the grandma chic, whether that means me wearing what your grandma would wear or those elegantly clad older ladies. And Constanza Pascolato, of Brazilian Vogue, is rocking it to the nines. Now that is some inspiration. Love it.

Warning: Uninspired Blogger Rant

Clothes are definitely not on my mind these days. Although I will have to say I put together some cute outfits in the last week and I found a damn cute dress yesterday. But no, if anything, it's getting rid of clothes that is taking up my head space. And as this blog is not just about fashion, my thoughts have not only been about purging my closet, or all the terribly annoying bureaucratic BS it takes to move across the world, or the repercussions of making such a decision, or finding a job, or finding an apartment or saying goodbye. It is not just these things that I am thinking about, in fact, I almost feel like I am thinking about them all but really about absolutely nothing.

I am doing all these things at once, yet somehow my mind is blank. Usually I have so many things to write about here on the blog and ideas always going through my head, but for some reason I feel very uninspired. I am having trouble actually sitting down and reading a book or writing a blog, or writing at all. I thought when I came back from the UK, a month left in Berlin would feel like a long time. I thought I would truly have time for myself and the energy and motivation to put my German experience in words in a short story or even just a bit here on the blog. Unfortunately I feel stressed, dull and like time is slipping through my hands — that is not to say that I am slacking in the getting stuff done department, I am just doing nothing creative. So i guess this is just a long-winded excuse for the lack of good blogging now and to come. It scares me though, because when I get to NYC is when I actually have to get things going (and get a real job). When will I ever have time to write and read again?

Okay, thanks for listening to my rant. It actually wasn't too hard getting those words out. Ha! Maybe I can find some inspiration outside, these beautiful sunny Berlin days seem to just keep happening, now that I am leaving of course. What do you do when you feel uninspired?


Photo from This Isn't Happiness.

Berlin Weekend Roundup: Two to Go!

art by Richard Lockett

I had a really nice weekend — kind of the opposite of last weekend as the nights certainly out-shined the days. I did get a little emotional on Saturday night though, as it was a friend's birthday that pretty much my whole Berlin crew was at, and it just made me sad to be together for one of the last times. As I have said before, it is a bittersweet end to an amazing year of my life that I could have continued, but instead chose to move on. But that is life, right? So many decisions. And one of my new ones as I welcome in this chapter, has been to start wearing my hair in pigtails (see!), maybe it is me rebelling against turning 30 in a few months. Sorry, I had to take the seriousness level down a notch there. Anyway, I am glad that these last weekends have been so special, even if it is a little overwhelming. 

It all went something like this: my friend Richard's amazing art opening, carb overload dinner with Erin, home early but in bed late, new found obsession with show Parenthood, house cleaning, packing, solo dance party, sushi, wine at Luzia on Oranienstrasse, trek to Wedding, Franziska's bday at Analog Bar, emotional talks, dance party of the day #2, late night ubahn ride photo fun, lazy Sunday, pizza, more Parenthood, overdue Skype session with Sarah.